Minnesota Farmer


Father of the Bride
June 10, 2011, 11:07 pm
Filed under: family, Farm, friends, Minnesota | Tags: , , , ,

One of the jobs of the Father of the Bride is to welcome the guests and thank them for coming.  I’ve also been told that it’s a parents job to embarrass their children.  In hopes of not embarrassing myself too much, nor my daughter, I thought I should write down my pre toast welcome.  Just to keep from stumbling over the words too much.  So for those of you who cannot be at the wedding, and those who want to find out what it was I wanted to say, instead of what I said, here it is.

Welcome

We’re glad you could all be here to celebrate this special day with us, Thank you all for coming.

I know that those of you who are new to Minnesota have all heard the stories of how we have 9 months of winter here and 3 months of tough sledding, but I’m here to tell you that the stories are not true. That being said, you should know the last snow from last winter did just melt in St. Paul.  Yep, It seems that because of the large amount of snow we had last winter a pile of snow 60 feet tall had accumulated in a St. Paul lot.  Due to two consecutive days of 100 degree temperatures, it’s now finally gone.  Folks downstream on the Mississippi should prepare for another flood crest.

All of those stories you have been told of our terrible winters here are only half true.  We in Minnesota perpetuate those myths to keep this wonderful state to ourselves.  After all, it helps to keep the riff raff out.  If you cannot handle the weather, we invite you to move to, perhaps Illinois. (Michael Owen grew up in, and much of his family still reside in, Illinois.)

One of the jobs of the father of the bride is to help you all get to know his child and her new husband, usually by telling stories of their more interesting episodes of childhood.  After all, one of the main jobs of a parent is to embarrass their children.

But Beth has not left me with a lot of stories.  I can tell you that the painfully shy child we raised has grown up and blossomed.  This young lady, of whom we have no pictures with a smile on her face until she was about 6, is such a change from the child who would hide behind her mother if a non family member talked to her.

I could tell you about her episode with the riding lawn mower and how she killed the mailbox, her first driving accident.

I could tell you the story of the trip on the school bus when I discovered her first boy friend, an episode that may have kept her away from boys for years afterward, but I’m not going to, but I will tell her children one day.

Now Michael, or Michael Owen, or Mo, as we have called him to separate him from myself, has not left us a lot of time to get to know him.  Having met Beth in those years she was in Illinois.  But, he has already helped me pile up stories.

There was the time he confessed at the table of some holiday event, that he had once had the nick name of “Muffin.”  To which Beth’s uncle David said, “Now why on earth would you want to tell anyone that.”

Michael Owen also told us that his dad had told him that if he really wanted to be happy he should marry a farm girl.  I did remind Richard that he should also have warned Mo that farmers kept shotguns to protect their daughter’s honor.

I’ve been told that now that Beth and Michael are married, I cannot send him back, Well Mo, You’ll always be on probation with me.

Michael Owen, I have some words of wisdom for you.  Whenever Beth asks you a question that requires that you make a choice that may not be her choice you need to say, “Whatever pleases you, just tickles me plumb to death.”  Those words have helped get me through 32 years of marriage.  They should help you also.

Really though, Karen and I could not be more delighted with this couple that have joined their lives together today.  They are indeed a fit for each other.  So…

Michael Owen, may you give your new wife a whole lot less trouble than I have given my bride of 32 years, and Beth, keep that rolling pin handy, I just know that there will be times you will need to get his attention.

So,  Please raise your glass to Elizabeth Anne and Michael Owen,  I’m looking forward to the many more times that I can embarrass you.

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