President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
“Hello, President Obama,” a heavily accented Norwegian voice said.
“‘Dis here is Sven, over here at DA Muni Liquor Store in Menahga,
Minnesota. Ve don’t like some a yer policies so I am callin’ to tell ya dat ve
are officially declaring var on ya!”
“Well, Sven,” Barack replied, “This is indeed important news! How big
is your army?”
“Right now,” said Sven, after a moment’s calculation, “dere is myself, my
cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole, and DA whole pool
team from DA Muni.”
Barack paused, “I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Wow,” said Sven, “I’ll haf at call ya back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. “Mr. Obama, DA var is
still on! Ve haf managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be, Sven?” Barack asked.
“Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and Sigurd’s farm
President Obama sighed. “I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000
tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my
army to one and a half million since we last spoke.”
“All right den,” said Sven. “I’ll be getting back to ya.”
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day… “President Obama, DA var
is still on! Ve haf managed to git ourselves airborne!
Ve up an’ modified Ole’s ultra-light vit a couple’a shotguns in DA
cockpit, and four boys from DA coffee shop haf joined us as vell!”
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat.
“I must tell you, Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter
My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“Two million you say?,” said Sven, “l’ll haf to call you back.”
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. “President Obama! I am
sorry to haf to tell you that ve haf had to call off dis here var.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Barack.
“Why the sudden change of heart?”
”Vell, sir,” said Sven, “ve’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a few beers, and come to realize dat dere’s yust no vay ve
can feed two million prisoners.”
MINNESOTA CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN